PUZZLES: THE MISSING DOLLAR

The Missing Dollar

Three students checked into a hotel and paid the clerk $30 for a room ($10 each). When the hotel manager returned, he noticed that the clerk had incorrectly charged $30 instead of $25 for the room. The manager told the clerk to return $5 to the students. The clerk, knowing that the students would not be able to divide $5 evenly, decided to keep $2 and to give them only $3.

The students were very happy because they paid only $27 for the room ($9 each). However, if they paid $27 and the clerk kept $2, that adds up to $29.

What happened to the other Dollar?

WORDPUZZLE: ENGLISH is FUN

 

Daddy Fell into the pond!

Famous Funny Poem by Alfred Noyes

Everyone grumbled. The sky was grey.
We had nothing to do and nothing to say.
We were nearing the end of a dismal day,
And then there seemed to be nothing beyond,
Then
Daddy fell into the pond!

And everyone’s face grew merry and bright,
And Timothy danced for sheer delight.
“Give me the camera, quick, oh quick!
He’s crawling out of the duckweed!” Click!

Then the gardener suddenly slapped his knee,
And doubled up, shaking silently,
And the ducks all quacked as if they were daft,
And it sounded as if the old drake laughed.
Oh, there wasn’t a thing that didn’t respond
When
Daddy Fell into the pond!

FUNNY LIMERICKS

A limerick fan from Australia

regarded his work as a failure:

his verses were fine

until the fourth line

?

 

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A gourmet dining at Crewe

Found a rather large mouse in his stew.

     Said the waiter, “Don’t shout

     And wave it about,

Or the rest will be wanting one, too.”

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Said an ape as he swung by his tail,

To his offspring both female and male,

  “From your offspring, my dears,

  In a couple of years,

May evolve a professor at Yale.”

 

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There was a young lady named Rose

Who had a large wart on her nose.

  When she had it removed

  Her appearance improved,

But her glasses slipped down to her toes.
 

 

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An elderly man called Keith

Mislaid his set of false teeth -

  They’d been laid on a chair,

He’d forgot they were there,

Sat down, and was bitten beneath.

 

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QUOTES by SIR WINSTON CHURCHILL

 

However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results.

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Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.

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There are a terrible lot of lies going around the world, and the worst of it is half of them are true.

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It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.

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Sir Winston Churchill

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SMALL TALK

Mr. Blue: Hi, Mrs. Flynn. Well how have you been?
      What a surprise to see you.

Mrs. Flynn: Hi, Mr. Blue. Well, how are you.
      It’s really great to see you.

Mr. Blue: It’s been so long since we last met.
      It’s been at least a year, I bet.

Mrs. Flynn: You’re looking great, and I can’t wait
      to hear what you’ve been up to.

Mr. Blue: Not much is new. But how about you ?
      You must have news to tell me.

Mrs. Flynn: I’m just the same. I can’t complain,
      except about my salary.

Mr. Blue: The weather’s awful, isn’t it?
      It should be warmer just a bit.

Mrs. Flynn: I think so too – I’ve had the flu,
      and so has all my family.

Mr. Blue: There’s my wife Eve, I’ve got to leave.
      Let’s hope for better weather.

Mrs. Blue: Bye, Mr. Blue. Nice seeing you.
      Next week, let’s get together.

Mr. Blue: Give me a call just anytime.
I’m in my office after nine.

Mrs. Flynn: I’ll call you there. Bye, bye, take care.
      I’d love to get together.

 Listen to this song.

PUZZLES: THE BACTERIOLOGIST

The Bacteriologist

A scientist is experimenting with bacteria that are one micron in diameter and that reproduce by dividing every minute into two bacteria. At 12:00 PM, he puts a single organism in a container. At precisely 1:00 PM, the container is full.

At what time was the container half full?

SWEATED LABOUR

Child workers, some as young as 10, have been found working in a textile factory in conditions close to slavery to produce clothes that appear destined for Gap Kids, one of the most successful arms of the high street giant.

‘Consumers in the West should not only be demanding answers from retailers as to how goods are produced but looking deep within themselves at how they spend their money.’

 » READ MORE HERE ….

PRESENT PERFECT TENSE

Pussy cat, pussy cat, where have you been?

I’ve been to London, to visit the queen.

Pussy cat, pussy cat, what did you there?

I chased a mouse from under her chair.

How do we use the Present Perfect Tense?

This tense is called the present perfect tense. There is always a connection with the past and with the present. There are basically three uses for the present perfect tense:

1. experience
2. change
3. continuing situation

1. Present perfect tense for experience

We often use the present perfect tense to talk about experience from the past. We are not interested in when you did something. We only want to know if you did it:

-			+
Past	present	future
!!!
The action or state was in the past.	In my head, I have a memory now.

Connection with past: the event was in the past.
Connection with present: in my head, now, I have a memory of the event; I know something about the event; I have experience of it.

2. Present perfect tense for change

We also use the present perfect tense to talk about a change or new information:

I have bought a car.
Past	present	Future
Last week I didn’t have a car.	Now I have a car.

 

John has broken his leg.
Past	present	Future
Yesterday John had a good leg.	Now he has a bad leg.

                   

Has the price gone up?
Past	present	Future
+	-
Was the price $1.50 yesterday?	Is the price $1.70 today?

 

The police have arrested the killer.
Past	present	Future
-	+
Yesterday the killer was free.	Now he is in prison.

Connection with past: the past is the opposite of the present.
Connection with present: the present is the opposite of the past.
 

Americans do not use the present perfect tense so much as British speakers. Americans often use the past tense instead. An American might say “Did you have lunch?”, where a British person would say “Have you had lunch?”

3. Present perfect tense for continuing situation

We often use the present perfect tense to talk about a continuing situation. This is a state that started in the past and continues in the present (and will probably continue into the future). This is a state (not an action). We usually use for or since with this structure.

I have worked here since June. He has been ill for 2 days. How long have you known Tara?
past	present	Future
The situation started in the past.	It continues up to now.	(It will probably continue into the future.)

Connection with past: the situation started in the past.
Connection with present: the situation continues in the present.

LIMERICK: A SPECIAL REQUEST

A chameleon whose skin was inert
Tried to blend with a branch, till it hurt.
As his brow sweated beads,
He announced, “What I need is
Camouflageable hide—or a shirt.”